Randy's Blog

I remember the words from an old song that says, "It's a beautiful morning, I think I'll just go out and play."  My normal routine begins at 5:00 am, get my son up at 6:00, and out the door by 6:30 for his baseball workouts, and head on to the office to get my day together.  Last night temps dropped below freezing and the night sky was clear and full of stars.  As we headed out today we both noticed the huge full moon.  As a matter of fact I'm watching it go down right now on my right and the sun coming up to my left over the beautiful north Georgia Mountains (Well I was about four hours ago).  My mind is racing as I think of all the things I'd like to do today and "workin ain't one of em."  I would much rather be sitting in a tree stand or a duck blind.  As a matter of fact it wouldn't be a bad day to fish for a big large mouth.  I know that doesn't appeal to all but for me these beautiful almost winter days pose a real temptation.

But there are ecards to send, emails to catch up on, calls to make, Christmas cards to send out, newsletters to finish, calendars to mail, files to update, business plans to formulate, customers and clients to contact, new agents to interview, and bills to be paid, so I think "I'll just go out and work."

So for all those who are tempted to "rest on their laurels," let me remind you as I have my agents and myself, those who are working now may have paydays in January and February, and who knows we may sneak a closing in before Christmas.   Don't be deceived by the "no use to work now agents" and the lure of beautiful mornings, get on to work and "git er done."  

Here is the third and last part of Conflict Management; although very abbreviated I hope it's been helpful. 

Eight ways to approach conflict 

•1.  Speak the truth in love

•2.  Seek to understand the others point of view.

•3.  Seek common ground

•4.  Make expectations clear

•5.  Stay focused on the issue at hand

•6.  Maintain direct communication

•7.  Listen and don't respond defensively

•8.  Follow up.  Never assume that it is all settled,  make sure. 

There are several different difficult personalities to deal with.  Understanding these and being clear on the type of personality you are dealing with will help you choose your words and actions.  

•1.  Sherman tank

•2.  Space Cadet

•3.  Thumb Suckers

•4.  Wet Blankets

•5.  Garbage Collectors

•6.  Users 

Four musts 

•1.  Love unconditionally

•2.  Ask God for wisdom

•3.  Stay emotionally healthy

•4.  Be honest with God, yourself, and others.

Here is the continuation of Conflict Management.  I have abbreviated and condensed as much as I could and still hopefully make sense. 

Here are five don'ts when dealing with conflict. 

•1.  Don't deny the problem.

•2.  Don't underestimate or exaggerate the problem.

•3.  Don't hesitate to deal with the problem.

•4.  Don't fret over the problem, it never helps

•5.  Don't express the problem to those who are not potentially a part of the solution. 

Here is a seven step process to solving problems. 

•1.  Examine the trend.  Don't look at a snapshot.

•2.  Clearly identify the specific problem and its cause.

•3.  Describe the ideal situation in detail.

•4.  Write out the steps to achieve the solution that will bring closure to the conflict.

•5.  Identify the resource you need to accomplish the steps of the solution.

•6.  If it is a big problem, break it down into smaller components.

•7.  Follow up.  Never assume that it is all settled.  Make sure.

As Real Estate Professionals we are not surprised by conflict.  However, I am often surprised by how some deal with it in unprofessional ways.  I hope the above suggestions help and please feel free to add your suggestions, I need all the help I can get.

Wouldn't life be great if there was no conflict? Imagine going through a day without confrontations.  Imagine living a life where all is peace and everyone gets along.  Imagine having friends and relationships with no arguments and no disagreements. 

Someone years ago wrote theses words, "to live above with saints we love oh that indeed is glory, to live below with saints we know now that's a different story." We would all like to live a life with no conflict, but it "ain't gonna happen." 

Peace is not freedom from conflict.  Peace in our lives is produced by the ability to see conflict as it is and deal with as we should. 

Over the next several days I will give some suggestions on dealing with conflict.  There's no magic wand and not every conflict is the same, but I will give some good practical solutions to everyday conflict. 

We'll jump right in to three suggestions. 

1. You will never conquer conflict until you admit that there is a problem.   Someone said "from the date of your birth to the ride in the hearse things are never so bad that they can't get worse."  "Get rid of the flee and the itch will take care of itself."  Sometimes we just need to admit that we have a problem.
2. You will never conquer conflict until you believe there is a Solution.  If it is a fact of life it cannot be changed.  If it is a problem then it has a solution. Some have conflict because they are trying to change things that will never change.  On the other hand some have conflict because they are not seeking the solution to a problem that can be solved.
3. You will never conquer conflict until you realize that problem solving is greatly impacted by your first response.  In other words how we respond in the immediate will affect the outcome.  Some people have great difficulty in resolving conflict because they are loose cannons.

One day there was a group of boys standing around a stray dog they had found at the park.  A minister walks up and asked "what are you boys doing?"  One of the boys said, "We're telling lies, and the one who tells the biggest lie gets the dog."  "Why boys" the minister said, "When I was your age I never thought of telling a lie."  After a moment of silence one of the boys shrugged and said, "come on guys, I guess he gets the dog." 

I was astounded the other day when I heard some stats on how many students admits to cheating, how many people admits to lying, how many people admits to stealing, and how many people believed that it was alright to do these things if there's nobody was really hurt by it.  We are used to politicians making promises they can't keep, service companies not showing up when they said they would, products that promise more than they can deliver, and on and on the list goes.

I still believe that honesty is the best policy.  It may not be the easy route but it's always the best route.  Our market is tough enough without the added pressure of working with those who don't practice honest and professional ethics.  If you make an  appointment keep it, if your voice mail says I'll call you back then call me back, if the seller is out of the price range for the market you might as well tell him up front, and again, the list goes on and on.

An old friend of mine used to say, "Always do right!  You'll never do the wrong thing if you'll always do the right thing." 

Have you ever heard the definition of insanity which says, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."   Every day I hear people bemoaning the difficulty of the present market, but rarely change the way they do business.  I use the following illustration in some of my sessions with groups and/or individuals.  It is the story of Dakota Tribal Wisdom which says, "When you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

Too often we try other strategies.

•1.       We buy a stronger whip.

•2.       Change riders.

•3.       Simply say, "this is the way we've always ridden horses."

•4.       Appoint committees to study dead horses.

•5.       Visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.

•6.       Change by-laws to read that horses shall not die.

•7.       Harness several dead horses together for increased speed.

•8.       Declare that no horse is too dead to ride.

•9.       Provide additional funding to increase dead horse performance. (Gov't bail outs)

•10.   Purchase a product to revive the dead horse.

•11.   Form a committee to find uses for dead horses.

Here's my thought, bury the dead horse.

Today set yourself apart and do different things that make a difference.

What is it that separates those who just get by and those who go to the top?  What is the difference between acceptable and excellent?   How is it that the kid who wasn't a great athlete made it to the Major League?  How can the student that struggled through school now head up a major corporation?  When I raise these questions I always get similar answers.  Things like, "they got all the breaks," they were in the right place at the right time,"  "they knew the right people," or my favorite, "some people just born for greatness."    There may be times when one of those answers is true.  However, the one word that describes the deciding difference in all of our lives is "passion."

If you knew me well, you would know that I'm passionate about passion.  I detest mediocrity!  My high school football coach used to say, "If you make a mistake, make it at 110%."  In other words on every play give all you've got.    The power of passion will make the difference in everything you do.  From the way you conduct business to the way you to play on the weekends.

Here are a few passion thoughts and I will only give you the major points.

First why do we start out with passion but end up in apathy.

•1.       We allow things that are precious to become familiar.

•2.       We want acceptance and approval.  Passion will separate us from those who just get by.

•3.       We live in a passive society and it's easy to just fit in.  Garfield the cat said, "I hate people who start things and never finish.  I've solved that problem, I just never start anything."

•4.       Apathy tends to increase with age.

•5.       No purpose beyond ourselves.

Now to "Passion"

•1.       Passion is the first step to achievement.

•2.       Passion increases will power.

•3.       Passion changes lives.

•4.       Passion changes me.

•5.       Passion makes impossibilities possible.  Truthfully we don't do the impossible we just do what impossibility thinkers think is impossible.

•6.       Passion keeps you focused and fueled.

My wise Uncle use to say, "the hardest part of any job is gettin' started."  For many summers I worked along side my uncle on his farm and there I learned many of life's lessons.  I noticed that we worked long hard hours, we ate good, slept well, and saw things that many people never had clue about.  For instance we had an abandoned baby pig raised by a Jersy cow, and he play with the baby goats, slept in a stall with a horse, thought that he was human and God love him died of old age.

On hot summer days before daylight my uncle would pull into our driveway, honk the horn, and say I was coming out the door, "come on farmer it's gonna be a great day."  I would climb into the truck, yawn and stretch and then say, "we'd better hit the ground runnin' today." and that we did.

One of the biggest mistakes that I see Real Estate Professionals make is simply not working.  In this market you have to get up everyday believing that it's going to be a great day and "hit the ground" running.  I rarely find that business just comes to me from out of the blue, though at times it happens.  But, I do find if I systematically work I will reap results from what I'm working on, as well as get business from places that I never expected.

So, plan your work, work your plan, and work on income producing projects first.

"Be swift to hear, but slow to speak," these words though spoken centuries ago still carry a wonderful and wise message.   Words are powerful!  They can lift someone's spirit, encourage someone to move forward, bring hope to the hopeless, give joy to the grieving, and at times give the strength needed to move someone closer to realizing their dreams.  On the other hand, words can tear down, bring grief, cause sorrow, destroy dreams, crush the spirit, and build walls that may never come down.

To be swift to hear, simply means be a good listener.  Here are a few quick tips.

•1.       Look at the person speaking.  Don't be afraid to make eye contact and don't be distracted by things around you.

•2.       Listen to what the person is saying.  Often we are looking at the person, but not hearing what they're saying.  One of the main reasons that we do this is we are contemplating what we are going to say next.

•3.       Learn from what you hear.  People will tell you much about themselves, their needs, and their expectations if you just listen closely to what they're saying.

To be slow to speak, simply means that you have given thought to what you're about to say.

•1.       Consider this, are the words you're about to speak going to build up or tear down.

•2.       If your words point out a problem, then be ready to help find a solution.

•3.       If your words are going to rebuke, then be sure to speak with firmness, but laced with compassion.

•4.       There is much more that I could add and may say later, but for now think on this and remember you have the power to make a difference in the lives of others simply by using words. 

A few years ago I was attending and speaking at a leadership conference in Atlanta.  One of the speakers as he was teaching his session used the phrase, "be a lid lifter."  He illustrated his point by saying that you can put flees in a glass jar with a lid on it and the flees will continue jump against the lid trying to get out until they finally learn where the top is and they quit jumping against it.  He went on to say that as leaders we must lift the lid for those around us.  I have found, that in this business of Real Estate there are many who want to put lids on us, but not many who want to lift them off of us.

Just other day at a local meeting I overheard a veteran agent telling a new agent, how bad everything is now, and what a poor career choice she had made by getting into Real Estate.  I could see the life go out of the face of the new agent.  She had just spent her money getting her license, paying for her MLS and local board dues, had just started advertising herself and her business, and was excited about it until that moment.  I went to her after her discouraging conversation with the veteran agent, and as if I hadn't heard a word I begin to tell her how happy we were to have her as a part of our local board, and what a wonderful Real Estate Professional she was going to be.  I went on to tell her that this was a great time to begin her career and if she needed any help to call me. 

She did call me later and I have continued to have conversations with her, helping her with her business plan, teaching her more and more about forms and contracts, helping her generate business, and just encouraging her in general.  There are a lot of things I'm not but there's one thing I want to be, a "lid lifter."  I believe that we all have more abilities than we realize, and at times we just need people to help us find them.

So today don't put lids on the people around you, lift the lids and help people realize their dreams and potential and help them jump higher than they've ever jumped before.